How you develop social skills

November 4, 2014 by Joshua
in Awareness, Education, Habits

The pattern for developing a new social skill goes like:

1. Lack of awareness of something I want to change

2. Awareness of it

3. Realizing I can do something about it

4. Try do something about it but notice a day later that I missed the opportunity

5. Notice an hour later

6. Notice a minute later

7. Notice in the moment

8. Unconscious mastery

Advancing from one step to the next is just a matter of practice and time. If I don’t practice I don’t advance. If I don’t give it enough time I don’t advance. If I practice it’s only a matter of time until unconscious mastery.

I edited this from a response to a client on a question about behavioral change. I thought it simplified understanding a process many consider complex, which I think can simplify the process.

Learn to make Meaningful Connections

with a simple, effective exercise from my book, Leadership Step by Step.


  • Step by step instructions
  • Video examples of me and Marshall Goldsmith
  • An excerpt from my book

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