A fundamental contradiction for many women in dating

August 30, 2012 by Joshua
in Awareness, Blog

I’ll tell you a fundamental contradiction in nearly all women seeking men. Though glaringly obvious, most women (and men) I mention it to have never noticed it before.

Point 1: Women don’t want to be evaluated only on appearance

I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman who wants to be evaluated only on her appearance. Every one I’ve talked to wants people to know her personality, history, dreams, etc.

Point 2: Women don’t like men approaching many women

I haven’t met many women who support men approaching and flirting with lots of women. They tend to presume guys who do are looking for superficial relationships.

Contradiction: How does a man learn about a woman besides her looks without talking to her?

You can fantasize that every first meeting will result in two people falling in love, neither ever having to approach or learn about another. Since the world isn’t full of marriages of childhood sweethearts, I think nearly all cases go otherwise.

If women want men to know more about them than their appearances, I think they have to support men approaching different women.

Learn to make Meaningful Connections

with a simple, effective exercise from my book, Leadership Step by Step.


  • Step by step instructions
  • Video examples of me and Marshall Goldsmith
  • An excerpt from my book

Powered by ConvertKit

1 response to “A fundamental contradiction for many women in dating

  1. That’s easy! Talk to one woman at a time.

    Like if I’m at a party and watch a man talk to all the women in the room. Talking to them only for 10 minutes, ask for their numbers and then leaves to talk to the next woman, I won’t give him my number if he comes up to me.

Leave a Reply