Has anyone said “You’re thinking too much about it,” “You care too much what other people think,” or the like?
I was talking to someone about something in my life. She said one of those phrases to me. So I talked about the same thing in her life. Suddenly she became very interested in the conversation.
Nobody says “You care too much what other people think” when you care what they think.
I wasn’t surprised. Despite her words, she didn’t care about my values and how much I thought about things. She thought and talked about the same things as much when they related to her.
Along the lines that suggesting to calm down or take it easy is usually a jerk move by an annoying person, those phrases attempt to dismiss someone else’s values in the form of giving advice while judgmentally implying the speaker is above all that.
Everybody thinks about things that they care about. If you care about something more than I do, you’re liable to think more about it. For me to tell you that you think about it too much tells you I don’t understand you.
Learn to make Meaningful Connections
with a simple, effective exercise from my book, Leadership Step by Step.
- Step by step instructions
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